Dad.. Don't forget me!

 Today as everyday, I thought of you saying these words.  "Dad, Don't forget me!"  "Don't let the world forget me!" 

I will never forget you my son.  Guilt of your loss brings thoughts of regrets, and  they flood my memory like garbage.  Then I take a moment and remember all of our time  

I will never forget you my son.  You are a part of my being every moment of every day.  

Palmer Lake, Colorado

 Denver Colorado September 2016, you wanted to take a drive to the top of Palmer Lake, Colorado.  This was on very narrow dirt road that most Jeeps would have issues.  Here is the kicker.  We drove a Kia mini van.  

Happy 27th Birthday Casey

 

I love you and I am lucky to be your father.  Love you forever! Dad

Casey, Wayde and Justin Playing "System of a Down - Aerials"

Baseball and Friends

2010 Casey License

When I was in Denver, I took Casey to get his drivers license test.   Then we came back to hotel and I annoyed Casey.  He hated being filmed or doing anything he did not agree to do.  

Casey, me and baby bunny

Casey and I looking at baby bunny in carport. 

Casey Baseball

BaseBall

Casey Baseball Game

Childhood Pictures

Skater Bear

SKATER BEAR 

You created Skater Bear when you were 12 years old.   Skater Bear was to be a brand for hats and shirts that you wanted to sell.  You were always building and selling items to friends and acquaintances.

The items you sold included duct tape wallets and bags.  There were used laptops you would get from companies and friends.  These were re-imaged with your favorite Linux desktop and applications.

It was E-Bay that brought you the most fun and money.  Selling things you found and or refurbished to get the most money.  

You had the Skater Bear idea thinking you could sell t-shirts to teen skaters.  

Trip To Disney in Pictures & Videos

Disney 2004 - A Trip to Remember!

Dressing for Success

At Charter we are require to dress business casual, and that is most true when an executive was visiting.

Most of the time you wore your coding clothes or street clothes.  This included a concert or band tee with jeans skater shoes and a ball cap.  

When emails went out to dress business casual, you and your crew dressed to the nines.  You wore a suit coat and looked amazing.  

You would never let me take your picture with a suit coat.  You looked like an handsome professional.  I was so proud to see you dressed.  Many people came up to me to say how well you cleaned up.  

The last time I saw you dressed up, you were walking past my cube looking sharp.  You stopped and you said, "Dad take a good look."  It's not going to last.  I'm changing clothes when I get home. 

Two days later was the last time I saw you alive.  First, I came by your desk.  We fist pumped and you told me you plans for vacation in March.  We talked about your conversion from consultant to FTE.  It was happening that night.  That night you left us.  The last moment we talked or saw each other was around 2:00 PM February 7th 2017.  We were in front of Robin Kargol's office.  You stopped and blocked me.  We laughed and did the move dance, and that was it.  Now that moment lives in my memory as a forever moment,   

I loved that moment because I loved you.  

Forever in my thoughts

Casey you are forever in my thoughts. I am the luckiest dad to have had you in my life for 21 years. You were so smart and complex. You had an infectious Pied-Piper smile and laugh. Everyone that met you wanted to get to know you.

I observed you for years. I saw the raw technical talent of a tech rock star. I watched that grow into a expert software developer and engineer.

You always aided others that asked for your insight or assistance.

You were one of a kind at so many levels. Most of all you were one of a kind to me and your family. I thank God you were here with me. I thought that would be much longer.

Handsome and charismatic yet down to earth, that was one of the many endearing qualities you possessed. I don't think you even knew your gifts.

Love you forever. Dad

You walked on your first birthday

Your family and friends miss you. You are gone, and we are doing our best carry on. You will never leave our lives as we learn to live without your presence. Your spirit and time here will forever be in our hearts and minds.

I will always remember you, Casey Mcdonnell, as the son that started it all. The first born of 5 siblings. I was shocked how you grabbed my heart and taught me.

I love you as I did the day you were born. I know you were not perfect, but I saw your creativity, talent and abilities that were so different.

This weekend was a tough one for me, as I still grapple with my loss.

I am a solutions person, and there is no solution. I cannot fix this. I just must live and remember the good and fun times.

You walked on your first birthday. Your mom said you did it when I was there, but I think it was while I was in Seattle. But, what a charge to see you walk for the first time.

Your first McDonalds french fries were in British Columbia Canada.

Your first Pizza was Lil Caesars.

You never slept through the night. You would call for me and I would run. I would talk to you until you fell asleep. Sometimes you held my hand and fell asleep.

Other times, we would take turns running around the stairs in a stroller hoping you would crash. You would laugh as I ran you in circles.

Your liked when I played Beastie Boys InterGalactic. You would bounce in the back seat. Screaming turn it up dad!

I remember when we saw an emergency vehicle pass. I said look at the big red truck. You said, "Actually, it is a red fire truck."

We took a day off to potty train you at 2 years old. You would tell us, I peed or I pooped. It was so funny. You drank so much juice, and we would not give you a diaper to make you use the potty. You danced and then finally used the potty.

We went on a trip to Houston and we worked on my laptop side by side. It was crowed in the desk chair. Your smile was your charm. You and I had so much fun that day.

You always had technology bend. You could figure out complex ideas in simple terms. It started with legos. You would build using "constructions".

I just loved you. I still love you!

Cross country road trip

When you were 16 years old we drove across country to increase your road miles and take your truck home. You and I were driving to Colorado from Atlanta with Wayde as the passenger. You took the first leg passing through Chattanooga Tennessee, and you were so nervous with all the huge trucks passing. Your hands were sweating, and you loudly voiced your emotions saying I need to stay focused on the road.

We swapped driving the whole trip. We stopped and ate trash food. It was the three of us on a road trip. Your driving got better as the trip took three days. But, you got tired of driving.

The longer the road the more you needed a break. Wayde and you led the music across the country. Monsters, coke, coffee and burgers fed the trip. We talked and talked about nothing. Wayde was a great passenger. We were both proud of you.

Crazy fun trip for me. I watched you grow and shared a rare moment with my older boys. Love you man.

Running with Dad

It was 1990 something and you and I were running on a path near our home. Well I was running and you were in a carriage running stroller with a mesh top.

The wind was a little stronger than normal, and I zipped the cover and gave you a blanket.

We started to run, and then we came up on a herd of mule deer. You had me stop to see the herd. They would not move off the path.

We had a staring contest that they won. You talked more than ever about the deer and our interaction.

Then the wind started and we pushed our way down the path. As usual I would talk and you would listen. I watched you bundle up in the stroller.

You started screaming windy, windy, windy. Your head was covered up as the wind bit into the carriage. You pulled yourself loose from the restraints and jumped backwards pushing your face into the netting.

You yelled " I want to go home now! "

From that point forward, you would never get in stroller.

It was the way you operated. Once something happened, you assumed it would occur again. Trying to get you to try new things was hard enough; however, getting you to get back on the horse was a matter of your level of interest. Bikes and skateboards yes, running no.

The Life of an Application Developer / New World Technologist (1995-2017)

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Casey Lewellyn McDonnell is my oldest son, big brother to 4 siblings and friend to many. Casey passed on February 7th , 2017.

He had the ability to see things in multiple dimensions. I always used his bleeding edge testing and exploration as a barometer of future technology / application directions. He learned through total immersion in building and designing application scenarios.

It started at the young age of 6 and never stopped. Vic Ahmed, founder and owner Innovation Pavilion, provided Casey and friends Joey Wainwright and Drew DeSilvey their own starter space to explore technology and application entrepreneurship at the age of 17. They saw both good and bad business ideas and start-ups. They learned the words opportunity, cashflow and trust.

His life was dedicated to understanding and pushing boundaries in all that he pursued. I remember asking the question Java versus Python. He just laughed. He loved Java, but Python was his game changer. Python made his programming fun and allowed him access to many unique modules / libraries to mold his applications.

He always had a Python Shell opened on his laptop or PC as he constantly moved between work and his pet projects.

He was willing to help any team member; however, his perfectionism drove him to push everyone around him to be organized, faster and detailed. This sometimes meant he would drive the team to exhaustion.

Coding came with rules, and Casey lived by the rules. He pushed standard techniques in syntax and commenting. Jim Heffner was Casey's mentor in code structure, error handling and testing. Once Casey learned what worked, he stayed on track with that process.

I saw the raw technical talent of a tech rock star. I watched that talent grow into a expert software developer and engineer. He became a leader with insight and purpose.

Casey was blessed to be surrounded and supported by a marvelous team of friends and coworkers. Casey loved the camaraderie of working with intelligent and slightly twisted group of software and technology professionals.

Casey's growth was directly impacted by his mentors. At Charter, Mike Manning saw Casey's raw talent and gave him his start. They were friends till the end. After Mike left, Robin Kargoll inherited Casey as his director. He always respected Robin and her leadership. Robin guided him through the corporate mine fields of expected results and behaviors.

Sagar Parikh became his manager, mentor and friend. Sagar and his team had a massive impact on Casey as a technologist and software developer. Sagar's team live to develop cable test software analytic and discovery tools. The team gave Casey both growth and creative opportunities during his three years at Charter.

Below is a note I found cleaning out Casey's desk.

Casey was representative of a new way of learning. Some call it hacking, he called it learning. He always built on his software development experience by layering experimentation with an expected delivery of a working application.

Casey's abilities also came with a desire to be alone to think, and the outdoors was primary his release. He told me dirt on his truck reminded him of where he needed to be.

Thanks goes to the Charter Advanced Engineering team for supporting him in life and his family in his passing. Thank you to Vic Ahmed and his longterm support. Mostly thank you to all that loved Casey. His friends and family. Forever missed and never forgotten.

Soda Palazzo

It was 2012 around 2 AM and we were talking about tech. We decided to take a drive to Raceway for Soda Palazzo.

As we exit the car in the Atlanta mist, a Bentley pulls up next to us in the gas isle. We are standing outside my car headed into Raceway, when out steps Lil Wayne and some others.

You told me not to stare, but I did not know who he was. You explained and we went in and grabbed 44 ounces of pure sugary carbonation.

We watched as he and his passengers and driver loaded back in. He looked over at you and climbed into the back seat.

At first not a word was said. As we drove home, you said that was cool.

He had so much gold and platinum around his neck. We both talked of the costs and why he was out so late. You punched my shoulder and laughed.

We are started something. A link a break into something more than before.

You hated my stories as they changed in memory or I told the same ones repeatedly. But you always remembered that night.

So did I, and I'll forever remember those late night soda and food runs. They were times you would talk to me as your dad.

Your 22nd birthday - June 14th

Casey Mcdonnell

Today is your 22nd birthday.

I celebrate your birthday as I celebrate your life. Complex, intelligent and unpredictable, you always did things your way. Some times it was incredibly amazing to see your dissecting of words, music, math and life.

You are forever my son. A light in my life that will forever shine.

Happy Birthday my bright star. I'll see you in the heavens as I look to the sky.

Love,

Dad

Love you, Love you too.