You walked on your first birthday

Your family and friends miss you. You are gone, and we are doing our best carry on. You will never leave our lives as we learn to live without your presence. Your spirit and time here will forever be in our hearts and minds.

I will always remember you, Casey Mcdonnell, as the son that started it all. The first born of 5 siblings. I was shocked how you grabbed my heart and taught me.

I love you as I did the day you were born. I know you were not perfect, but I saw your creativity, talent and abilities that were so different.

This weekend was a tough one for me, as I still grapple with my loss.

I am a solutions person, and there is no solution. I cannot fix this. I just must live and remember the good and fun times.

You walked on your first birthday. Your mom said you did it when I was there, but I think it was while I was in Seattle. But, what a charge to see you walk for the first time.

Your first McDonalds french fries were in British Columbia Canada.

Your first Pizza was Lil Caesars.

You never slept through the night. You would call for me and I would run. I would talk to you until you fell asleep. Sometimes you held my hand and fell asleep.

Other times, we would take turns running around the stairs in a stroller hoping you would crash. You would laugh as I ran you in circles.

Your liked when I played Beastie Boys InterGalactic. You would bounce in the back seat. Screaming turn it up dad!

I remember when we saw an emergency vehicle pass. I said look at the big red truck. You said, "Actually, it is a red fire truck."

We took a day off to potty train you at 2 years old. You would tell us, I peed or I pooped. It was so funny. You drank so much juice, and we would not give you a diaper to make you use the potty. You danced and then finally used the potty.

We went on a trip to Houston and we worked on my laptop side by side. It was crowed in the desk chair. Your smile was your charm. You and I had so much fun that day.

You always had technology bend. You could figure out complex ideas in simple terms. It started with legos. You would build using "constructions".

I just loved you. I still love you!